“The time has come .” the walrus said,
To speak of many things –
Of strikes and upsets and Red Tape,
And pulling of the strings.
The walrus was a knowing chap,
We'll credit him with brains,
But do you think he could forsee
Our troubles with the trains?
Now take a passenger for Bourke,
The 'Enquiries' help he'll seek,
With weary voice the clerk will say –
The train may go next week.
Or if to Gosford you would go,
On fishing most intent,
You'll race a mile or more to board
The train that 'never went'.
Then take the folk who never roam –
Further than City-bound,
The electric trains and what they do,
One really would astound.
T'would seem as if they ran to please
Themselves on any line,
Eighty per cent don't run at all,
The rest are not on time.
But when you've run and pulled up steps,
For fear you will be late
The train just went “three sec's ago”
You have an hour to wait!
Then even much less lucky
You join the frantic din,
To board the train but how on earth
Will everyone get in? |
They threaten us 'inflation' and –
Thereby hope for gains.
They should apply inflation
To our suburban trains.
Then as the poor 'Electrics' to
A crowded station crawl,
They could inflate at least ten times -
Accommodating all.
But then, I'm told, the whole idea,
Would not be let to work,
We have a thrifty government,
Who ne'er a duty shirk.
To 'Railways' from some other 'Branch'
No matter how remote,
A charge for using 'atmosphere'
Would come by debit note.
Immediately the fares will rise,
With extra for a seat,
A window seat will be more still –
With suitcase rack complete.
The 'rich' will be well catered for –
The poor old working man.
Will grow his beard and eyebrows,
And 'hang on' if he can.
Perhaps our friend the walrus.
Did really see such things,
As well as 'ships and sealing wax
And cabbages and Kings.'
If we could live next century,
Outmoded be the bike,
We'd have our 'auto-gyro'
And go just where we like.
But we are just We, Us and Co.
And e'em no aeroplanes,
So as we live in 'present times',
Must put up with the trains.
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